One of the aspects of Thai that is very different from most other languages
is the staggering number of pronouns that are available and used in everyday
speech. With over a dozen words for 'I/Me' and a similar
number for 'you', knowing which one to use and when can seem like a
daunting task. The choice of which one to use depends on just about everything
- who you're talking to, how well you know them, how old you are relative
to them and, most importantly, the relationship between you and who is of
'higher status'. This is a choice that has to be made countless times a
day in every conversation you have, which is effortless for a Thai but poses
quite a problem for non-native speakers.
Thankfully, no-one expects a non-Thai to have a perfect understanding of
all the pronouns available and by learning just a few you can cope in almost
any situation you are likely to find yourself in without offending anyone.
These are shown below:
pom
This is the normal word for 'I / Me' that is used by men. It's slightly
formal (few Thai men would use it when talking with friends), but
still perfectly okay for most situations you'll find yourself in.
di-chan / chan
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Di-chan is used only by women, and is a
polite word for 'I/Me'. The shortened form, chan, is less formal
but fine for everyday use and is probably the most common word used
by women.
This is a polite and very common word meaning 'You'.
It also doubles as the title put in front of people's name to be polite
e.g. Mr Somchai would be known in Thai as Khun Somchai.
ter
Ter is another word for you, used with friends or in informal
situations.
This is a word for 'we/us' that can be used in any
situation.
kao
Kao is a standard word for 'he/him/she/her' that can be used
in any situation.
man
This means 'it', and is used when referring to
animals or things. It can also be used instead of kao to refer
to people, but to do this is, not surprisingly, very insulting to
the person you're referring to. (In some Thai dialects, man
is actually a common way to refer to someone so you can't necessarily
assume it's an insult if you hear it.)
puak-kao
This is a standard word for 'They/them' that can be used in any situation.
pee / norng
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Pee (literally 'older brother or sister') and norng (literally
'younger brother or sister') are very commonly used as pronouns, and
can be used to mean either 'I', 'Me', 'You', 'Him', 'her', 'he' or
'she' depending on the situation. The difference is when they can
be used - pee must be used referring to someone older and norng
must be used, not surprisingly, when referring to someone younger.
Despite their literal translation, using pee or norng doesn't
necessarily imply a close relationship between the speakers. Though
they are often used between friends and even married couples (as well
as actual brothers and sisters), they are just as likely to be used
when calling the attention of waiters/waitresses in restaurants or
the porter in a hotel. If you often find you are asked your age when
talking to a Thai, it is most likely they are doing so to establish
who is pee and who is norng.
The problem with this system is that without asking it means having
to guess the age of other people relative to your own, and hoping
you don't offend anyone too much ! It's also worth being careful with
the pronunciation of pee, as if said with the wrong tone there
is a unfortunate change in meaning from 'older brother or sister'
to 'ghost/spirit'.
If there is a substantial age difference (say, 25 or 30+ years) then
pee and norng are not used.
Though this list is okay for most situations, none of these words are really
appropriate if you are in conversation with someone perceived to be of substantially
'higher status' than you. For instance, if you were unfortunate enough to
find yourself in a Thai court and in conversation with the judge, a more
respectful pronouns should be used instead. Luckily, for the average visitor
to Thailand it is very unlikely that you'll encounter many, if any, situations
such as this.
Buddhist monks are another example where respectful pronouns should be
used, as they have pretty much the highest status of all apart from royalty.
In reality though, monks in touristy temples are probably very used to foreigners
not using the correct pronouns, and are unlikely to be offended if you forget.
The respective pages on words used for 'I' and words
for 'you' have more information on respectful pronouns.
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